Hermione swirled a clear green liquid in a beaker in front of her face.

“Are you sure that’s safe?” Ron asked from his place across the room. He was seated at a small table with a catalog of Quidditch supplies in front of him.

“What makes you ask?” Hermione asked, her eyes blinking behind thick glass goggles.

Ron started snickering.

“It’s to magnify things,” Hermione said as she ripped them off. They made a heavy clunking sound as they hit the heavy stone desk in front of her.

“Sure it is,” Ron laughed. “I still can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“Honestly, I can’t either,” Hermione said shaking her head. “But if they’re going to do this I’m going to get some answers.”

“Well, good for you,” Ron said, going back to his catalog. He licked a finger and turned a page.

“What are you doing, anyway?” Hermione asked. She dropped a pinch of a dirty looking powder into the beaker.

“Looking into training brooms,” Ron said, blushing.

“Oh for pity’s sake,” Hermione said, annoyed. She stirred the liquid with a glass straw. She put her finger on the end and captured a bit of the liquid. She put it in a small bottle, stopped the end and wrote a note in her notebook. Then she carefully made a label and put it on a shelf.

“Well, the twins keep wanting to ride with Harry,” Ron said. “But they forget to hold on. If they have their own they won’t pester him as much.”

“How much do training brooms go for?” Hermione asked. She lit a small fire under a bunson burner and set the beaker on top of it.

“Too much,” Ron sighed. “We could get one and they could take turns.”

Hermione made a face. “They’re usually good at sharing.”

“Well, at least Draco and Harry can afford to supplement a family,” Ron said sighing.

“We do alright,” Hermione said going to Ron and putting an arm around him.

“Yea,” said Ron, looking out into the yard. The twins and Leo were chasing each other around. Kelly was in an enchanted playpen nearby. Molly and Arthur were bringing out trays of food. Charlie had just arrived with his family and Bill was on his way with his. “We have it OK.”

“We do,” Hermione smiled.


Draco traced a long slender finger down Harry’s spine and smiled as goose bumps rose. He scratched lightly with his fingernail and watched as Harry shivered.

The boy-who-lived-to-be-a-sexy-man was tied face down to his bedposts, a pillow under his hips. He was grinning fiercely. Draco noted Harry was still wearing a horrible handmade set of socks. One was orange with yellow stars and one was green with small bees. Draco shook his head in disbelief.

This man would not be allowed to clothe his child.

Draco planted a gentle kiss on Harry’s lower back before entering him.

Harry gasped a bit at the intrusion but was thankful for the lubricating spell Draco used beforehand. He heard Draco mutter above him and his pillow transfigured into something that gripped and massaged his erection.

“Dear lord, where did you learn that?” Harry asked, arching his back.

“I was flipping through a book in Knockturn Alley,” Draco said, reaching around to pinch Harry on a nipple. “Something about Victorian depravities.”

“Did you buy it?” said Harry excitedly as small sparks went off behind his eyes.

“Like I’d be seen buying that,” Draco said, biting Harry on the shoulder.

“You suck,” Harry panted, thrusting back.

“We need an emergency thingy for that!” said Draco, triumphantly.

“What?” Harry asked, confused. He stopped thrusting and started laughing. Draco gasped.

“You should laugh more, it feels great,” Draco said, gripping Harry on the hips. “What do you mean, ‘what’?”

“What’s an emergency thingy?” Harry asked, interested.

“This,” Draco said. Harry felt Draco slide out of him and he frowned. Then he heard a bit of rustling and Draco pulled a condom out of a small brown bag he had concealed in his robes.

“Oh,” Harry said. “Of course.”

The Ministry had in fact issued emergency information packets to all the wizarding households in the UK. Wizarding condoms were enchanted to feel like you were wearing nothing and were available through both St. Mungo’s and owl post.

“I think we’re going to have to start over,” Draco laughed.

“I don’t have a problem with that,” Harry said, grinning. “Just keep them nearby this time.”


Hermione waited in the kitchen reading a book.

“Can we knock on the door now?” Leo asked.

“Not until the cookies are out of the oven and are ready to eat,” Hermione said for the eighth time that evening. “Papa’s still cranking the ice cream. Go outside and help him.”

Leo plodded outside with his older brothers. She had never seen them so morose about waiting for dessert. Perhaps it was time for training brooms after all. It was a popular sport; they got exercise, eye-hand coordination and whatnot.

Also, it got them out of her hair and that was priceless at times.

Hermione looked up to the sound of bare feet padding down the stairs. Harry appeared in a pair of loose trousers and no shirt.

“You should get dressed,” Hermione said, an eyebrow cocked. “Everyone will be here soon.”

The screen door slapped open and Molly Weasley came in, carrying Kelly.

“This one needs a change,” Molly said and looked up to see Harry half dressed. “Oh heavens!”

Molly Weasley turned bright red. So did Harry.

Kelly gurgled happily at the sight of Harry and reached for him.

“Oh! He wants you to change him!” Molly gushed with a wicked twinkle in her eye. “Isn’t that sweet!”

“Lucky me,” said Harry, making a face at Molly. Then he made a face at Kelly. “Come on, Stinky.”

Kelly grabbed a handful of Harry’s chest hair and squealed delightedly. Harry winced as they walked into the next room.

“At least he does nappies,” Hermione remarked. “Already he’s more helpful that Ron with the twins.”

Molly snorted as she opened the icebox and grabbed a pitcher of lemonade. “Don’t blame me for that, my dear. I warned you how hopeless he was.”

Hermione smiled out the window to see Ron leading a very small parade around the yard, each Weasley child wearing a colorful paper hat.

“He’s lucky he’s so cute,” Hermione said.

Molly chuckled to herself as she walked back out into the yard. “That’s what I said about Arthur years ago. Good luck. You’ll need it.”

Hermione shook her head as a second set of bare feet padded down the stairs. Draco appeared, his hair wet and also shirtless. Hermione stared for a moment. Then she shook her head to clear it.

Draco flexed. He posed for a moment.

“Oh good Lord, Malfoy,” Hermione said, both amused and annoyed. “Help Harry with Kelly and get out of my kitchen.”

“It’s my kitchen,” Draco said with an arch of an eyebrow.

“Whatever,” Hermione said and flicked water at him. Draco shuffled out of the room. A timer dinged and with a wave of her wand she removed a sheet of cookies the size of a toboggan from the magical oven and laid it to rest on the large kitchen table to cool.

The next thing she heard was: “Jesus fuck, Potter! How’d you manage to get it all over the couch!”

She heard Harry frantically shushing Draco. Hermione started to worry.

Before Hermione could investigate she heard: “Scourgefy!” She shook her head. At least together they appeared to be capable.

“Piece of cake,” Harry said sheepishly as he returned to the kitchen. Draco followed him, shaking his head.

“Well,” Hermione took Kelly from Harry. “How’d it go?”

“I had a good time,” Draco said, stretching. Hermione rolled her eyes.

The back door banged open and Fleur Weasley stood in the door, her stomach bulging slightly. She was looking radiant, her veela blood giving her a glowing appearance.

“’Ermione!” she squeaked, her French accent thick from a recent visit to her parents.

“Fleur!” Hermione said excitedly. “Wow, you’re starting to show!”

“With 5 more months to go,” Fleur said rolling her eyes. “I have a feeling this baby will be a monster. It is already as big as a ‘ouse.”

“You may have twins,” Harry suggested.

“May you ‘ave twins,” Fleur said coolly. “Then you will see.”

“I’ve seen,” Hermione said. The door burst open and two small light blonde heads ran into the kitchen.

“Bonjour!” the smallest called out.

“Bonjour, beau home!” Draco said before he was nearly knocked over by Fleur’s boys.

“Pierre! Maurice!” Fleur said sharply. “’E do not blow into a home and smack into unsuspecting people!”

“We said ‘ello first!” the eldest protested.

“I give up,” Fleur said, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Are the cookies done yet?” Leo asked, sticking his head in the back door. “You’re done mating!” He squealed triumphantly when he spotted Draco and Harry. Kelly shrieked an accompaniment.

There was a chorus of laughing from not far off it sounded as if the Weasley men were hovering nearby enough to hear Leo. Harry and Draco turned bright red.

“Lord, I’m getting a shirt on,” Draco said, darting upstairs. Harry quickly handed Kelly to Hermione and darted upstairs, Leo, Pierre, and Maurice chasing him merrily.

“Boys!” Hermione called after them, only to be flatly ignored. “Oh, I don’t care. Someone’s watching them.”

Fleur laughed in understanding.

“After seeing this madness they still want a baby,” Fleur shook her head, her long mane of thick blonde hair waving behind her, its tips lifted as if in an invisible breeze. Hermione tried not to be annoyed. It wasn’t Fleurs fault her grandmother was a veela. “They are in love truly, I think.” Fleur looked thoughtfully at Hermione.

“I think they might be,” Hermione admitted. “I just can’t see either of them pregnant.”

Fleur began to snicker. Hermione joined her. Kelly cuddled closer to his mother and giggled. He took one of Hermione’s long curls in one of his hands and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

“It’s a natural phenomenon,” Hermione said, trying to compose herself.

“So ez ‘Ourette’s Syndrome,” Fleur said. Hermione laughed.

“What’s all this giggling in here?” Ron poked his head in the kitchen.

“’Ese foolish wanting baby men,” Fleur said as she peered at Hermione’s cookies.

“I think they’re nuts,” Ron said shaking his head. “But the ice cream’s done.”

“Is Bill with you?” Hermione asked.

“Yea,” Ron said grinning. “He’s losing more hair every year. Don’t know how you stand it, Fleur. Dad took some of the kids to the pond to skip stones. Throw up sparks when the cookies hit the table.”

Fleur pursed her lips at him. “’E still has his sexy boots.”

“Sexy boots get you bonus points,” Hermione said matter-of-factly to Ron. “And couldn’t you lot stick around for five minutes? They’re already out.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ron said. “Where are the boys?”

“Helping Harry and Draco get dressed,” Hermione said, gauging Ron’s reaction.

“They expect to get dressed with that lot helping?” Ron said, amused. “Good luck to them. We might see them by the Fred, George, and Ginny close up shop and come over.”

Hermione laughed. “Good point.” Ron really had accepted the situation. Good.

Ron snaked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Hermione. Kelly reached his arms out to his father and Ron took him. “How long has it been since the whole family has gotten together?”

“At Christmas, oh so many ages ago,” said Hermione in mock melodrama.

“Nearly six months then,” Ron remarked in mock astonishment. He kissed her on the forehead.

“Oh bugger!” Hermione said suddenly. “I have to take readings from Draco and Harry.”

She kissed Ron quickly and trotted up the stairs leading to the boys’ bedroom.

“’O ‘ou find any of zis odd?” Fleur asked Ron.

“I think they’re all insane and mum’s their ringleader,” Ron said with a furtive look at the stairs, making sure Hermione couldn’t hear him. He bounced Kelly softly while Kelly explored Ron’s nose with the hand he had caressed Hermione’s curl with. His thumb was stuck securely in his mouth and his eyes were wide open and curious.

“Zo nothing un’us’ual,” Fleur said, teasing the baby with a finger. Kelly suddenly lost interest in his father’s nose and became enraptured with Fleur.

“Not that I can tell,” Ron said handing Kelly to Fleur. Fleur balanced him on her stomach.