Dodge, Parry, and Strike



Hermione slammed the door to the room she shared with Parvarti Patil and Lavender Brown, stomped over to her bed, and threw the bag she was carrying onto the trunk at the foot of her bed, a few books falling to the stone floor with a clatter, before she threw herself on her bed.


She was glad she was alone. The last thing she wanted was to let anyone know he had gotten to her that badly.


So she had kissed Viktor, so what?


She had liked Ron for years, she thought he had felt the same, but when it came down to it, he had forgotten she was a girl when he needed a date.


Not even wanted a date, needed a date.


He didn’t even consider her a girl when he was desperate. Now he was going to act all scorned because she had gotten over it and had finally given someone else a go? Like he had the right to an opinion at all?


She didn’t think so.


Then why was she so angry that he had gotten together with Lavender? It’s not like she had the right to be angry, either.


She let out a breath and felt the tension go out of her shoulders. This was stupid.


There was a small knock on the door and she lifted her head of bushy brown curls up. “Yes?”


“It’s Ginny,” a muffled voice called through the door.


“Come in, Gin,” Hermione sighed.


“My brother is a moron,” Ginny said as she walked through the door to the sixth year girls’ dorm, her red hair hanging loose and snaking over the shoulders of her black school robes.


“No he’s not,” Hermione sighed as she propped herself up on an elbow.


“Yes, he is,” Ginny said firmly. “I’ve known him a long time. Trust me.”


Hermione let out a small laugh.


Ginny walked over to the side of Hermione’s bed and sat on the edge of it. “Yes he is. He really is just doing it to get to you, you know.”


“I know,” Hermione said angrily.


“I’m sorry I let it slip you kissed Viktor,” Ginny said sheepishly.


“It’s not your fault, Ginny,” Hermione shook her head. “Don’t even think that.”


“Still…” Ginny trailed off.


“It’s not like it was a secret,” Hermione shrugged. “It just… I don’t know. I mean, Viktor was nice. I had a nice trip to Bulgaria. At the end of it, he kissed me. I told him I liked him, but didn’t like him in that way. He backed off. End of story.”


“I know,” Ginny said as she patted her friend on the back.


“We didn’t grope each other like porn stars in public,” Hermione spat out a little more angrily than she would have liked.


Ginny snorted. “I think they have a bit more finesse than my brother, I hate to tell you.”


Hermione laughed, in spite of herself. “You’re probably right.”




Ron was settled into an overstuffed chair in the common room, Lavender in his lap, her honey brown hair spilling over his shoulders. She was nuzzling the side of his neck and gently petting the front of his jumper.


She was a nice girl, he supposed, even if she were a little clingy. She was a good teacher when it came to kissing, that was for sure.


He certainly wasn’t going to let Hermione get the jump on him this time! She was better than him at everything, with the exception of wizard’s chess, and she had stopped playing altogether so being better than her at that was merely incidental at this point.


Then she had kissed Krum. Krum, of all people!


He could compete with nearly anyone else at Hogwarts. He was sure to be better than Neville. Probably as good as Seamus. Maybe not as good as Dean.


Ron shook off a jolt of anger over the fact that Dean was kissing his sister.


But Krum! He was an international sensation! How could Ron possibly compete with kissing like that without practice?


So Ron was treating his time with Lavender like he was training for the Olympics.


Too dry? Too wet? Now he knew the difference!


They had gone past lips and were into advanced tongue maneuvers now. Ron was starting to feel very confident about the whole procedure.


He heard a door open upstairs and he heard his sister’s voice.


He knew Hermione had been furious earlier, but they had gotten test results back from Snape earlier in the day. He had barely passed, and Lavender had been so relieved over her passing score that she had flung her arms around Ron in a fit of excitement.


Hermione had barely reacted. She had just tucked her scroll into her bag and had stormed off. Ron reackoned she missed a question or two and asked Ginny to go look in on her.


His sister had thrown him a dirty look, but had agreed.


Now they had emerged and they both looked miffed. Whatever it was, he hoped it wasn’t catching.


Hermione threw him a look before storming out of the portal and into the castle, Ginny following her with a toss of red hair.


Ron watched admiringly at the swish of Hermione’s robes as she walked across the room.


Soon, he’d be ready.




“Really, I can’t tell you.” Harry Potter was squirming uncomfortably under Hermione and Ginny’s stares. “I don’t know what’s going through his mind.”


“Well does he like Hermione or not?” Ginny demanded.


“He’s your brother, shouldn’t <i>you</i> know?” Harry snapped. Ginny looked taken aback. “Listen, I don’t know why he does what he does. I know she drives him batty. I know he likes kissing. That’s all.”


Hermione appraised him coolly. “Fine.”


Harry’s shoulders slumped as he looked from Hermione to Ginny and back again. “Listen, I don’t know why he’s acting like such an arse, I really don’t.”


“I believe you,” Hermione shook her head in exasperation. “I just don’t know what he’s thinking.”




“Where are we going?” Ron asked Lavender. She had suggested they take a walk, but she seemed to be going in a specific direction.


“You’ll see,” Lavender replied mysteriously.


They went down stairs and through halls until they came to a familiar stretch of wall. Lavender closed her eyes and smiled and a door appeared.


Ron followed Lavender into the Room of Requirement and looked around the empty room. The door closed behind them.


“I know you like dueling, love, but I’m a bit worn out from Quidditch practice today,” Ron yawned for emphesis and smiled at her. He hoped she wasn’t too disappointed.


“Maybe you should lie down, then,” Lavender suggested as a large bed appeared.


Ron found himself feeling wide awake as he stared at the monstrosity.


It was gigantic, red, and heart shaped. There were dozens of heart shaped pink and red satin pillows piled on it. The white sheets also looked as if they were made of satin.


Ron frowned as he thought of something one of his brothers had told him: <i>“So I get this bird back to her place and things are going well, but she had these slippery satin sheets! One good thrust and we were on the floor! The invention of a deranged madman! I swear!”</i>


Then he thought of the implications of standing in front of a bed like this with a girl.


Ron swallowed. Hard.


Lavender put a hand on his back and trailed it down his spine, tickling him before pushing him onto the bed.


He nearly disappeared into the mountain of pillows. He scrabbled to right himself, but his hands kept sliding over the slick sheets.


He felt a hand around his ankle and he slid a little as Lavender pulled him closer to her position at the edge of the bed. He turned over and his eyes met her green ones.


She smirked before she pounced.


Thankfully, she had to let go of him to do so, because it allowed Ron to quickly roll out of the way.


He laughed at her bouncing form in spite of himself. When he caught her expression again, he immediately regretted it.


“Hard to get, are we?” Lavender growled in what Ron was sure she thought was in a seductive way.


Ron squeaked as she grabbed the front of his jumper and pulled him to her. She kissed him deeply as he opened him mouth to cry for help and threw a leg around him.


He tried to push her from him, but when she leaned into him and groaned he realized he had his hands on her breasts.


Ron squeaked in surprise as he immediately let go and Lavender pushed him onto his back and straddled him. She purred as she ran his hands down his chest.


He put his hands around her waist and when she closed her eyes in ecstasy he launched her off of him.


She squeaked as she landed in a pile of pillows and he managed to roll off the bed.


He was gasping and shaking when he saw her pop her head out of the pile of heart shaped pillows. She looked furious.


“What are you playing at?” Lavender snapped.


“What are <i>you</i> playing at?” Ron asked her, bewildered.


“Don’t you want to?” Lavender asked him angrily.


<i>Not in this… THING… and certainly not with you!</i> Ron thought, but had the intelligence not to voice.


“I—I’m not ready,” Ron stammered, knowing exactly how lame he sounded.


“What do you mean: <i>‘not ready?’”</i> Lavender asked, fuming. “You seemed pretty ready for everything else.”


“I don’t know what planet you’re from, but kissing is not ‘everything else!’” Ron said hotly.


“Yea, you’re saving all that for <i>Hermione!”</i> Lavender accused.


Ron stood gaping at her. “What?”


“Don’t pretend I don’t know!” Lavender said angrily as she fought to get off the bed. “But you’re supposed to be <i>my</i> boyfriend! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”


“It doesn’t mean I have to put out just because you’ve decided it’s time!” Ron retorted.


“It’ll never be time with you, Ron,” Lavender said in a hurt voice. “Just forget it. Just forget everything. Don’t talk to me again.”


Ron was speechless as she stormed out of the Room of Requirement with tears in her eyes, but he didn’t follow her.


The bed dissipated behind him in a twinkling shimmer of magic. He stood alone in the empty room for a few moments before he decided to leave.


He couldn’t go back to the common room now, he knew that, so he roamed the halls. He walked through the Great Hall and around the Astronomy Tower, down to Hagrid’s Hut (he wasn’t home) and to the small cemetery. As he was deciding whether or not roaming around in the dungeons was a good idea or not he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see Hermione.


“I see you’ve disentangled yourself long enough to get walkies,” Hermione said acidly.


“We’re not seeing each other anymore,” Ron said as he shook his head.


He looked down and fixated on her hands. Stiff fingers, shaking with something she was feeling, but he couldn’t guess to what.


“What?!” Hermione exclaimed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I truly thought you were a matched set!”


“Stop it,” Ron said with a shake of his head.


Hermione looked at him closely. “Are you OK?”


“Sure,” Ron said, shrugging.


“That doesn’t sound promising,” Hermione said uncomfortably. Her fingers relaxed. They plucked absently at her robes.


“I don’t know why I’m letting it bug me so much,” Ron muttered.


Ron knew very well why it bothered him so much: because Lavender had hit the nail on the head. He loved Hermione and he was just using Lavender for experience.


At first, he thought he was doing her a favor. She liked him quite a bit and she was so thrilled to kiss him he figured it was mutually beneficial to both of them.


Now he felt like a creep. He really <i>was</i> the jerk his sister had accused him of being.


“I’m sorry,” said Hermione, and this time she sounded sincere.


Ron looked up and met her eyes for a moment before he cast them down on her hands again.


“It’s alright,” Ron shrugged. “Bound to happen sooner or later.”


“Why do you think that?” Hermione asked in a strange voice.


“I wasn’t into her,” Ron said, trying to shake the memory of her face out of his mind. “Literally. And she thought I should be.”


“What do you—oh!” Hermione exclaimed, her cheeks reddening. “I see.”


“Yea,” Ron said, embarrassed.


“So… why didn’t you?” Hermione asked slowly. They had started walking slowly away from the dungeons.


“I don’t know,” Ron said honestly. “I just didn’t want to, you know, with her.”


Ron glanced at Hermione but quickly looked away. Of course she was looking so smug. He had made a complete fool of himself, and by this time everyone in Gryffindor probably knew.


They started back in the direction he had come from.


“Where are we going?” Ron asked her.


“Somewhere more private,” Hermione said simply. “It wouldn’t do to have Draco or any of the other Slytherins overhear.”


Ron made a horrible face. “If any of them says one word--”


“Then stop talking,” Hermione snorted.


She stopped in front of a tapestry of a unicorn and slipped behind it. To Ron’s surprise he heard a squeak of rusty hinges.


He poked his head behind the tapestry to see a door. He poked his head into the room to see Hermione in an unused classroom.


He scuttled in and closed the door behind him. She waved her wand and placed a silencing spell and lock on the door.


“So anyway, she’s pretty chuffed,” Ron said with a snort.


“I can imagine,” Hermione said, looking concerned. “Are you sure you’re all right? You look a bit shaken.”


Ron told her about how Lavender had wanted to take a walk, how they had arrived at the Room of Requirement, and what had met Ron inside.


Hermione tried to bite her bottom lip, but a giggle spilled out. Ron gave her a dirty look, but it just made it worse.


He was about to say something nasty, but he saw the look on her face and shook his head. He chuckled, in spite of himself.


“All right, it was pretty funny,” Ron admitted as he sat on the edge of a dusty desk. “Up until the end part.”


“You didn’t say it was because her arse was too big or something like that, did you?” Hermione asked anxiously.


<i>“NO!”</i> Ron exclaimed. “I just said I wasn’t ready and she accused me of saving it for someone else.”


“Really?” Hermione, looking at him curiously.


“Yea,” Ron said, then he looked at Hermione with a stubborn look on his face. “Is kissing ‘everything else?’”


<i>“What?!”</i> Hermione spluttered. “What are you talking about?”


“She said I’d been ready for ‘everything else’ but by my reckoning, there are quite a few steps in between,” Ron said, annoyed.


“Um…” Hermione’s cheeks turned pink again. “I think you’re right.”


“I mean, all we did was kiss, really.” Ron hoped Hermione picked up on the hint that he really wasn’t that bad. He just felt like it.


“Really?” Hermione asked, unbelieving. “Not even a bit of wandering hands?”


“Why?! Did Krum?!” Ron panicked. Kissing, he could handle, but anything else? He was doomed!


“No!” Hermione shouted. “And even if he did, it wouldn’t be any of your business! You aren’t my boyfriend!”


“That’s the trouble, isn’t it?” Ron muttered.


“What?” Hermione looked stunned.


“She said I wouldn’t sleep with her because I wanted to be with you,” Ron muttered. “You should probably know before you get back to the tower in case she goes ballistic.”


“Oh.” Hermione was silent for a moment.


“I’m sorry you got dragged into this,” Ron said quietly.


To his surprise, she took his hand. “It’s all right.”


Ron just gave up. If he was going to have people angry with him it was going to be everyone at one and get it over with. He looked up and quickly kissed Hermione before going back to staring at his hands.


She looked shocked, but didn’t let go of his hand. Her hand seemed to tremble a bit. She leaned over and kissed him.


Ron felt like fire was running through his veins.


He looked up, and she was also staring at their hands, her face burning fiery red.


Well, things were looking up, after all.


He kissed her again, wondering if that was a stupid thing to do or not.


She took her hand out of his and held his face with both her hands as she kissed him firmly.


His arms went around her and her lips parted, touching her tongue to his.


<i>Now</i> he knew what he was doing!


He confidently snaked his hand up into her hair and kissed her passionately. He felt her gasp and he smirked to himself.


His tongue fluttered against hers, and her arms wrapped around him, gripping his robes in her fingers. Her mouth broke from his and she began nipping at his neck. Her hands went down to his waist and pulled him closer.


Ron groaned as she nipped and licked at his neck and he adjusted his position so he could sit more comfortably.


His leg rested between her thighs and she pressed against him, whimpering.


He raised his leg slightly, pressing against her, and he lowered his hands to cup her arse. He hoped she wouldn’t be angry, but, to the contrary, she was quite alright with it.


She kissed him again and again he made her groan! All that practice <i>had</i> paid off!


To his surprise, she started undoing the front of her robes. He kept his hands on her arse and noticed she was still pressing into him. She undid them to her waist and slowly started pulling her jumper up.


Ron’s eyes widened as he found himself looking at Hermione’s breasts, delicately encased in a pink lace bra.


“I suppose this is one of those ‘steps in between,’” Hermione flushed.


Ron raised a hand and lightly touched the tops of her breasts over her bra. She took a deep breath and he watched her nipples get hard. “I suppose it is.”


He lowered his head to her, lightly kissing the tops of her breasts, wondering how to get her bra off without looking like a complete creep.


She ran her hands through his red hair and felt his hardness against her leg. Her heart soared. He didn’t want to do this with Lavender and it had broken them up, but he was more than ready to be with her.


She was so angry, she was so relieved, and she was so sure he had finally come to his senses at last.


“Ron?” Hermione asked in a shaky voice.


“Yes?” He kept tickling the tops of her breasts with his tongue and it was driving her mad.


“I—I think I want to do everything else.” She felt her cheeks burn furiously.


Ron froze. He was in foreign territory, but he figured she was as well. He was worried about finishing before anything got started, but he reasoned she was an intelligent girl and they had their wands to clean up any mishaps.


“Yes,” Ron whispered.


Hermione fumbled around with her wand and pointed it at a long bench. Ron watched as it transfigured into a reasonably wide bed without any covers. Thankfully, the sheets were cotton and there were only two regular pillows.


Then she waved her wand again and Ron found himself and Hermione standing in the same position in their under things, their robes neatly folded nearby.


Ron ran his hands up the sides of her waist, marveling at the softness of her skin.


Hermione ran her hands over his shoulders, fingers tracing the thousands of freckles on his skin. Ron looked very nervous, so she took him by the hand and led him to the transfigured bed.


Ron’s erection ached to have some sort of release, but he was afraid of cutting things short. He thought desperately of History of Magic lessons, Charms lessons, Snape in Gran Longbottom’s dress… that did it.


She sat on the edge of the bed and to Ron’s surprise, ran her hand over his stomach before delicately starting to pull the elastic at his waist down.


He tried not to be nervous, but soon he was naked and she was just staring at him.


“Oh come on now,” Ron protested embarrassedly. “I feel ridiculous.”


Hermione waved her wand and she was also naked. Before Ron could even register what she looked like, he thanked God that he didn’t have to fumble to try to get her bra off.


Then it registered.


“Gods, you’re beautiful,” Ron said huskily.


He sat down on the bed beside her and kissed her again. This time she put her hand on his chest and his kisses got more fervent as her hand trailed down. She wrapped her hand around him, a little tightly, but Ron helped her change her grip and soon all was well.


“I’m—going to finish—if you keep doing that,” Ron panted.


Hermione let go of him so quickly one might have thought she was dropping something hot. He felt an immediate ache for her.


They lay down side by side and Ron started running his fingertips up and down her body, marveling at the patterns of goose bumps that popped up.


His fingertips found her nipples and she groaned and reached for him as he teased them to small peaks.


He lowered his head and started sucking gently on one of her nipples and he was rewarded as she wrapped a leg around him.


He trailed one of his hands down, running it over the fine patch of hair between her legs before finding her silky wetness.


<i>She wanted him!</i>


“I—have no idea what I’m doing,” Ron admitted.


“Put a finger in,” Hermione whispered. “Please.”


Ron tried to be as gentle as possible, but found it wasn’t painful for her, like he had heard people talk about. “Are you alright? Does it hurt much?”


“I’m not a nitwit, Ronald,” Hermione snorted. “I have figured out how to masturbate.”


“Oh, yea?” Ron perked up, suddenly interested. He put a second finger inside her and started moving them in and out, making her gasp. “And what do you masturbate about?” Her kisses became more fervent.


“You coming into my bed and eating me out until I scream,” Hermione panted.


He instantly flipped her onto her back and dipped his head between her legs before she could protest.


He started with the basics and proceeded to go through every kissing technique he could think of. The twirl, the flick, the helicopter. He twirled small circles around the little nubbin she rubbed from time to time with her hand, helping him along.


“Oh, God, Ron!” Hermione said, her voice full of anxiety and anticipation.


“Come for me,” Ron encouraged and he held onto her thighs firmly as she came so she couldn’t buck wildly.


She growled and shuddered underneath him.


He quickly crawled the length of her body to kiss her. One hand ran through his red hair as the other gripped his freckled shoulder. He felt his erection press into her thigh and he groaned as the hand that had been running through his hair slid down, past his middle and gently grasped his cock.


She rubbed it against herself and he gasped as he felt her slick wetness. She pulled away from him and gently rolled him onto his back.


Ron tried not to thrust up into her mouth as she wrapped her lips around his cock. He gave a small cry as she started bobbing her head, flickering her tongue around his shaft.


“Oh, Hermione,” Ron groaned as she pleasured him. He was trying to last at least a few minutes, but he felt as if he was on the verge of eruption.


Then she traced a finger over his scrotum and he let out a gasp of surprise as she dipped even lower and pressed right <i>there.</i>


He pushed her off him and he exploded, splashing creamy white jets of cum on his stomach.


“Where did you learn that?” Ron asked and instantly wished he hadn’t.


“I read it in a book,” Hermione said, making a face at him.


“Hermione Granger, what filthy books have you been reading?” Ron asked with a laugh as she blushed and waved her wand, cleaning him off.


“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Hermione muttered.


He pulled her to him and they lay there on the transfigured bed, her brown bushy hair trailing over his lean, freckled chest.


“So what happens when we get back to the common room?” Ron asked.


“I guess we’ll know when we get there.” Hermione shrugged. “Maybe even nothing. It’s not like Lavender’s going to go out of her way to tell people she’s been rejected.”


“You have a point,” Ron admitted.


He sighed deeply. Maybe things were looking up after all.